I was an Irish
Catholic kid who became a Jesuit at age nineteen. That was an effort to escape
myself. After 14 years there, I set out on a pilgrimage to find the key to culture.
I got a Ph.D at the University of Chicago, explored new age offerings and ended up
studying bodywork with some true pioneers. The first of these was Kay Ortmans Pawley, who
had worked with massage, movement and classical music for forty years in Ben Lomond,
California. When I met her in 1991 in Madison, Wisconsin, she was 84 years old and still
going strong. She died in 1997 at the age of 90. Then I trained in Hakomi for bodyworkers
(1995) and in Hakomi trauma treatment (1997). Now I get it. You can touch trauma imprints.
In
1966 at the age of 33 I went through a "conversion" from religious to secular
spirituality, a change of world-view precisely the reverse of the classic conversions of
western civilization -- such as those of St. Augustine and St. Ignatius Loyola -- but
perhaps identical with the great conversions of Eastern religion, such as those of Lao Tzu
and Shakyamuni. Since that time I have been busy trying to articulate the meaning of
my transition.
When it started, I was a Roman Catholic
priest of the Jesuit order, and when it ended, I was a "secular theologian" with
a Ph.D. in sociology from the University of Chicago, thinking about what will be the form
of the "post-christian" global culture that will integrate the substance
of Torah, New Testament, Koran, and the legacies of Buddha and Lao Tzu (to name but the
major players on the world stage of spiritual inquiry).
I do not go
to church at all any more, yet I am also "high orthodox" in my Christology. I
think Jesus is the incarnation of the second person of the blessed trinity.
In my formative years I was
thoroughly steeped in the old, stable system of traditional values. In my youth there were
no major doubts about the basic outlines of world-views. I remember Eisenhower. My life
broke in two in 1966 when I was 33 years old. The second half of my life has all been in
the openness of new formulations. I have been tumbling in the turmoil of uncharted
experiments with truth ever since then. Although I have always recognized the historical
importance of the old system, I was never tempted to go back, even when things were
craziest and darkest. Going back was too obviously, to me, a selling-out of my spiritual
assignment. It would have been like Abraham giving up the desert and going back to Ur.
Along the way I picked up a useful piece of
equipment at the University of Chicago. In the grey city I learned how to read big-picture
social forces. These are the sea changes that toss the skiffs of our individual lives and
our institutions.